170. Becoming a Traveling Therapist as a Single Mom with Carly Kerr

Ever wonder if you could build a therapy practice that supports your dreams of traveling the world while raising a child? In this episode of The Traveling Therapist Podcast, I chat with Carly Kerr, Founder & Therapist at AZ Synergy Counseling, about becoming a traveling therapist as a single mom. Carly’s story is raw, real, and incredibly inspiring.

She opens up about navigating burnout, ADHD, private practice headaches, and a surprise early maternity leave. Through it all, Carly found her way to Portugal, where she discovered a sense of peace and purpose that changed everything. She’s now planning her move abroad and building a business and life that finally feels good.

In This Episode, We Explore…

• Carly’s journey from teacher to therapist to becoming a a traveling therapist
• What burnout taught her about asking for help and setting limits
• How a Portugal scouting trip helped her find her “home”
• Navigating international moves with a toddler (and her dad!)
• Creating a lifestyle-first business as a therapist and single mom

Connect with Carly:
Website - http://www.azsynergycounseling.com/
Email - carlykerr@azsynergycounseling.com

Are you ready to take the plunge and become a Traveling Therapist? Whether you want to be a full-time digital nomad or just want the flexibility to bring your practice with you while you travel a couple of times a year, the Portable Practice Method will give you the framework to be protected!
➡️ JOIN NOW: www.portablepracticemethod.com/

Connect with me:

• www.instagram.com/thetravelingtherapist_kym
• www.facebook.com/groups/onlineandtraveling/
• www.thetravelingtherapist.com

The Traveling Therapist Podcast is Sponsored by:

Berries: Say goodbye to the burden of mental health notes with automated note and treatment plan creation! www.heyberries.com/therapists

Alma: Alma is on a mission to simplify access to mental health care by focusing first and foremost on supporting clinicians www.helloalma.com/kym

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:02

I'm Kim Tolson and I'm the traveling therapist. It's my passion to teach therapists how to navigate online private practices and multiple income streams so they can travel the world. I'm a digital nomad with a virtual insurance-based private therapy practice and a multi-six-figure coaching business. In this podcast, I will discuss my journey as a digital nomad, I'll chat with other traveling therapists, and help you navigate the complexities of running an online insurance-based practice. I'm so glad to have you with me on this journey. With ALMA, clinicians get the support they need to focus on what matters most, delivering great mental health care. When you become a member at ALMA, you'll get credentialed with major insurance payers in less than 45 days, access to enhanced reimbursement rates, and you can take advantage of HIPAA compliant EHR tools like intake forms, progress notes, and treatment planners. Visit helloalma.com slash Kim to learn more. That's helloal.com slash KYM to get started. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Traveling Therapist Podcast. Really excited to have our guest today. I feel like I've known her forever. I don't know why. Just on Facebook, social media, I feel like I've just known you forever. Carly Kerr is here with us. Carly, I'm so excited to have you here. One, because I've just known you over the years. I've kind of watched you evolve, really, with your own private practice and how you've like kind of built your practice and all that stuff. So it's been cool to watch that. And now to have you evolving into a traveling therapist, I'm really excited about that to have you tell your story and let everybody know about this journey that you're on. So I always start out and just say, how did you go from being a traditional therapist to a traveling therapist? Well, thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

You are like my business mentor. I have followed you and we've connected. You've helped me through a lot of things, which I'll include in my how did I get here? Oh. I'm so grateful to actually get to spend more time, not on billing related questions. And you've really inspired me. And I've really gotten a lot of good information from your podcast and you know, your websites and all the things that you do. So I'm very, very excited to come and share today. And you have been in my ear almost daily. You're like, I know everything about you. I know you don't like this. This is no. This is my guest, right? And so just like listening to the different guests and where they were at in their different journeys and how they came to be into a traveling therapist. So that was really a big part of this journey for me was just listening to people who have done it, who are doing it, and starting to realize I think I could do that. I think I want to do that. I've always wanted to travel, but I could never afford it. I still don't really think I can afford it. So I had to start thinking about how do I incorporate it? And this is the first time I've ever told my story. This is the first time I've ever even like written it down. Oh my god, exciting. Oh, so exciting and so much vulnerability. So here we go. Good to help people though. I hope so, because a lot of your guests, even people who were like in the beginning stages of their journey, were really, really helpful for me. Just like, uh oh, I never thought of that. Or oh, maybe I can do that. So I sat down on the beach in Portugal and I said, I'm gonna write my journey. And it brought up a lot of stuff because, like I said, I've never put it all together. So my first career was elementary school teacher. I did that for about seven years. And probably year three, which is where most teachers quit. I said, I have to do something different. So I went to grad school, got my master's in counseling. So I was teaching kindergarten by day, doing grad school at night, basically holding on for dear life. It was such a challenge. So I graduated in 2015. I did my internship in an inpatient hospital. I started in the deep end. I started working with suicidality from day one, and then I got hired at the hospital. In fact, before my internship was even over, my mentor created a job for me and said, All right, here you go. So I started doing psychoeducation groups twice a day, five days a week, in the inpatient units. And then it just evolved. I get really bored really fast. Probably went once a year. I'd go to my boss and I'd say, I'm done. I need a different job. What else can I do? So I worked on the medical floors doing assessments. I worked in the emergency department. I did intensive outpatient intakes. Then I ran my own intensive outpatient group. And meanwhile, I was starting to kind of develop my likes. I'm not gonna say specialty at that point, but it was just my likes. So then my boss just basically said, Whatever you want to do, you can do it. It was amazing. So I said, I want to start a support group for trans folks. And he was like, Okay. So I did that for a while, and then I ran out of jobs to do. And I was like, Oh, oh, what's happening? So when I was an intern, he took me to an American Association of Suicidology conference, and he's probably 35 years older than me. So he was like, I need somebody to run my PowerPoint. I said, I'm game. So we flew to Atlanta. We went to this conference on suicidology, and he did a presentation. I helped him do the presentation, and then I went to a workshop by the Trevor Project.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

And I was like, I just didn't even have words. And so that sparked my desire to start working with the LGBTQ community. It was just all the dots connected. And I know you're a little woo-woo. I'm a little woo-woo too. So I'm paying attention to like just all the signs, right? There are no coincidences. All aligning. It is. I started getting more training, more education. I started getting into the communities, meeting people, figuring out like what does the community need? And it turns out there's a high need for support. Particularly, I was in the northwest valley of the Phoenix area. Yeah. And there was nobody. And this is 2016, 17, so pre-pandemic. There's nobody.

unknown 6:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

So I went, all right, well, there's a need. I'm just gonna run with it. And then I joined with the University of Arizona College of Medicine, and we started doing trainings across the hospital system. And so yeah. So then I was like, oh, I'm training, which teaching is like in my blood. So I love that. And it was so much. I mean, I was probably doing at least, let's see, three, at least 12 trainings a month. So at least three a week, traveling to different hospitals, you know, and it was all on like LGBTQ, but primarily trans healthcare. So, what can we do as a hospital system to be more inclusive, to not say the stupid things that happen and just, you know, be better. And I loved it. I absolutely loved it. However, I was managing up, which I later learned as kind of one of my kryptonites. I like to sit on the bottom and say, hey, everybody up there, like, do it this way. But the corporate leaders weren't attending the trainings. And so it was like I was doing all this work, putting all this energy and and just all of my passion, and nothing was changing. And it was just so disheartening. So in 2018, I was like, I'm gonna start a private practice. Never was on my radar. When I went to school to be a counselor or therapist, I never thought about private practice. So I started my private practice and I continued to work at the hospital and I did that for a few years. And then 2019 came and I said, I'm done. I've done all the things in the hospital, I need something else. And I got what I thought was my dream job at Arizona State University. And so that was really exciting for me. I got to travel to all of the campuses. They have four campuses in the valley. So I got to travel. So I wasn't in one seat all day for 40 hours a week, which I desperately needed. I needed to drive and travel in in January of 2020. I started my EMDR training. So I'm riding the shuttle to the different campuses. I'm reading my Shapiro book. I'm like, this is this is just great. I love this. And then the pandemic hit. Everything changed, right? And so as I'm listening to your early episodes, that was like a pivotal moment for so, so many people. And for me, it was as well. And in many ways, some not so glamorous. And so I got thrown back into crisis work because I had that background. And now I'm doing virtual crisis work. And I was totally unaware of how not okay I was and how like not with it I was. My my hyper functioning and you know, just like go, go, go was taking over. And I wasn't loving it. I just was like, this is not what I signed up for. This is not what I want to do. I don't want to do crisis work. We had a few events that were less than optimal, just in terms of how they were handled. So, for example, I had one where there was this person in crisis trying to get out of a domestic violence situation. She calls for help. I'm like, oh my gosh, we're walking you through it. And I said, Well, let's call the police, let's get you some support to get you out of there. And they took her to jail. Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yes. Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

And just being on the other end of the camera, and I just was so helpless and so baffled. Like, how did that go so wrong? And I just, I, I, I so I was struggling. I started a group practice because, you know, why not? So I did in this, I did Amber Lida's step-by-step program. That's kind of where I started. And then I'm like, I'm gonna start a group practice because I love teaching, I love supervision. And it was in 2020. So I'm at home and I, you know, why not? Things were not clicking very well. So I'm doing this group practice, and I decide, well, I want my associates to be able to take insurance. I was all private pay up to that point, and I was doing well, totally stocked, no issues. Okay, let's connect with Kim Tolson. So that's where I connected with you and tricked your course, tried to do all the credentialing on my own. Needless to say, my executive dysfunction did not help the situation, and it became pretty much a disaster of epic proportions.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

So I tried credentialing with two companies, one to nine months, to even get credentialed. And the other one was quick and totally screwed everything up.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

And see the story of the world of pillars, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:40

And so that's when I connected with you, and you were so gracious, like hopped on Zoom with me and were like, let me help you figure this out. And basically, by the time I got it all figured out, I was done. Like mentally, I was done. So, probably November of 2020, we had a crisis call, and I was still working at an issue, and we had a crisis call, and I was not responding. I was not participating, and my team was amazing, they were phenomenal. And afterwards, one of my dear, dear friends who I now just hold in such high regard, she she calls me and she says, Are you okay? That's not like you. I mean, I froze, I totally froze. And when she called and said, That's not like you, it was like just the wave hit me. And I realized I'm not okay. So in December of 2020, I paused all my clients. I said, Here's some referrals, right? I still had associates at the time. I said, Here's your new supervisor. My mentor jumped in to provide supervision. I said, I'm not gonna above all, I will make sure you get your hours. I will not be that supervisor that screws your hours up for you.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

And one of my associates decided to leave at that time. And then shortly thereafter, I don't even know the timeline, the second one left. And then probably shortly thereafter, Mayish, maybe the third one left. And I took a three-month hiatus and I went to eating disorder treatment.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Because turns out I had to eating disorder, and I just never really paid attention to it. So it was really big. It was a whole big gut punch of wow, I am still producing, I am still seeing clients, I am still running a business, and I am not okay. And I share this because I want people to know how easy it is for us to not know how not okay we are, because we're so focused on everybody else and trying to be successful entrepreneurs. And so I did that. And then I came back and I had no group practice anymore. It just was gone. And then I was like, well, half of my clients, no, not half, probably a quarter of my clients who were private pay. I then got a credential with their insurance. So of course I was taking the pay cut, and I was like, damn, why did I do that? Right. But I just said, I'm gonna keep insurance, I'm gonna keep taking insurance. So I signed up with Alma using your link because you have been so helpful. I tried to support where people support me. And so I've been taking Alma ever since. And as of now, like half my caseload is insurance. And just a little alma plug, oh my gosh, I just love not having to spend hours on the phone with Aetna crying and screaming and saying, What is happening? Like it has been a game changer. And in fact, their rate was, and I know that there's a lot of opinions about it, and I don't love the whole big big tech write.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

I know it's a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

It is a big deal, and I can appreciate that. And I just needed that extra income.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

I get it. I mean, that's why I alma sponsors this podcast. I mean, they were such a good solution, you know. You'll never convince me otherwise. They're such a good solution, especially for people like with what you're talking about. So I'm glad that it helped you.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Yeah, it and it's been great. I've not missed a paycheck, I've not had an issue. Like, it has been really great. So I was trying to get my life back on track. I'm like, what do I want to do with my business? What do I want with my life? So I decide I'm gonna get pregnant. Well, that's a good idea. Right, of all things. But it's something I'd wanted to do my entire life. And I realized I was pushing 40 and my time was running. And I just said, okay, so I started the IDF process, which was not for the faint of heart. And I was so grateful that I quit ASU. Okay. So when I came back from treatment, I quit ASU. So by 2021, I was solely private practice. So big and scary. But I did it, I made the job. And then because I was in private practice, I was able to do all of my IDF appointments. I was able to schedule my life around me. And that is for anyone out there who's like, I'm too afraid to leave the, you know, the W-2 job. Like for me, the freedom, the flexibility was a game changer. It was everything. Absolutely loved it. So I was able to get pregnant. I did round one. Then I spent seven months just miserable. No, literally puking in between every single client. And everybody was so amazing. So my due date is March 2022. December rolls around, and I keep on going to the Nang hospital. I'm like, what's wrong? Nobody really knows what's wrong. Well, what was wrong? We're supposed to have any contractions. So all of a sudden, I find myself, I was not prepared because again, executive dysfunction, I was not prepared. And so anyone that's getting pregnant, ooh, get your game plan done like early. I was literally laying in a hospital bed typing out my notice to all clients. Here are your referrals. I'm not coming back for a while. And oh my goodness. So that was a big like, oh crap, there was no closure. There was no like, hey, I'm so sorry. I mean, it was literally like the an email that just said, I'm so sorry, this is unforeseen. I'm not due for another four months. So I basically had to take my maternity leave before the baby was born. So he came actually in January instead of March. He came nine weeks early and spent seven weeks in the NICU. And uh, probably about week four, I had to start seeing clients again. Because I'd already been off for three months. I've got to. And no, I have not taken Jeannie Schottmiller's advice about taxes and savings. And no, I have not taken anyone's advice, didn't do any of it. Yeah, I did all the mistakes. Literally every every mistake you could make, I did all the mistakes, and I'm still going strong. So if you're making all the mistakes, keep going. Yeah, all right. Currently, I think I have $40 in my retirement account. So it's the start started. So I had to start seeing clients. So I would see just a couple a week, and then eventually I built back up to like 10 clients a week. And then I realized, oh my gosh, I can't do this by myself. I'm a single parent. I'm trying to run a business. I'm trying to take care of oh my gosh, what's happening? So I pack up and move to Idaho, where my parents are. So that's what brought me to Idaho. I did get licensed in Washington, so I'm now licensed in Washington. And over the last, I guess I've been here like two years, I've just been building up my practice again. And I'm probably at roughly about 20 clients a week right now, which is my absolute max. I do definitely do better with 15 than I do with 20. So over the last two years, I've had more stability, but I'm still not happy. I'm still not loving life. I'm just getting the kid ready, taking him to school, seeing my clients, making dinner, pick up the kid, rinse and repeat. Enter Kim Tolson's traveling therapist podcast. So all of that, I look at that and I'm like, okay, things are getting easier, but I'm still not enjoying life. Yeah. I'm still not living life. So I started listening to your podcast, listening to how the pandemic really transformed people's lives and their motivation. So for me, it was the election. And the first nine days of January, whatever it was, the first whatever part of January that was like three years long with all of my clients. And I just said, I gotta do something different. I gotta do something different. I have to if I'm going to hold all this heaviness, all of this terror, all of this fear, because again, I primarily work with LGBTQ clients. I have got to have some peace and serenity and joy on the other side of it.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

So that's where I was like, I gotta do something different. I started listening to Patrick Cassow's podcast and love that podcast as well. And one of the things I took from your podcast was when you talked about how does your previous trauma show up in your business. And I sat with that, and I'm like, how does my trauma? And so here's my trauma, I have to do it all myself. And I looked back at all the hard things, and it was probably because I tried to do it all myself. So I was like, all right, guess what? In 2025, for the first year ever, I hired an accountant. Actually, that's not true. I did it once and it was terrible, but I tried it again. So I hired an accountant, and that was my first like, I'm getting help. I'm hiring an accountant. Okay, I'm doing that. And I mean, I'm part of Megan's Elevate membership, I am part of Jeannie's membership. You know, I've done all those intermittently, but I could never do anything with it. So I'm like, okay, I've got to do something. I've got to do something. And meanwhile, my brain's on fire, my body's on fire. I get diagnosed with ADHD. And I was like, this makes so much sense. Yes. Now I know why I have a CEU cart with, you know, 15 different CEUs that I haven't even touched. Why I've, you know, paid memberships for all these professionals that are so amazing and have so much good advice that I've never used, that I've never been able to implement. And so, I mean, the pieces are finally like coming together. And then I hear Patrick saying, doubt yourself and do it anyway. And I'm like, you know what? I'm doing it. I'm doing it. So March, I take my first international trip and I go to Canada. I said, I'll come and check out Canada. You know, it's close, like if things get real bad back in just out of Canada. It was beautiful, it was lovely. I'll go back in the summer. I didn't want to live there. Yeah, it's cold. It's yeah, it was so cold. Oh my god. So the end of April, I flew to Portugal. And actually, like right after I booked my tickets. This was again a woo-woo universe. Megan Snetgano posted her retreat in Portugal for May 2026. And I said, you know what? I'm gonna live there. So I don't have to pay airfare. I'm gonna move there and I'm gonna live there. So I signed up for the retreat. Oh, I love it. And it's the first retreat I've ever done. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, I've gotta do it. It's gonna be amazing. And so, you know, this last probably four months, six months has been about my own spiritual work. I've been doing a lot of that and like recognizing my how my intuition is really helpful and also draining. So I've been doing a lot of that, listening to the podcast. I flew to Portugal for a week. I did this trip, and it was probably day two that I realized I don't need to scout, I can take a vacation because I'm coming back. So I was able to decompress for the first time in five, six years. It was transformative. So anybody who's thinking I can't do it, I don't have the time, I don't have the money, I did it. I don't have the money, it's all on a credit card right now, and I'm just not even worrying about it because I needed the space, I needed the quiet, I needed to really evaluate what am I doing? And why do I hear all these people are loving their therapist journey and I'm not? I'm just doing it and I'm good at it, but like I'm exhausted. So I was able to find some really amazing places. I love the food. I don't have celiacs, but I do have a lot of food allergies. I have, you know, rashes and like upset stomach and all the things. And I'll tell you what, Cam, I went to Portugal and I ate pizza and pasta and bread, and I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, no sickness, no rashes, no itchy. And I said, that's it. This is where I need to be for my physical health, for my mental health. This is where I want to raise my kid. Like, I want him to have culture and the world and just see more in a place that I can. Afford to travel. And then also in doing so, I got licensed in North Carolina. And that I'm using that. I only have one client there at the moment. But if I need to expand that, I can because of the time zones. And I know that's a question everybody wants to know about.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

Smart, smart.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Time zones. And so I've got all of my clients in Arizona, but now I have one in North Carolina. But I can always build that so that I can see the North Carolina ones earlier for them. And then I'll see my Arizona clients later. But for me, I'll be working in the afternoon from two or three-ish, depending on which time zone, you know, until seven, maybe. I try not to work more than four hours a day because I can't do it. As a single mom of a toddler, he's three, almost three and a half. If I see more than four clients a day, by the time I pick him up, I'm just done and I don't have anything to give to him. And so that's again the freedom of living somewhere else, owning my own practice, making my own schedule, really evaluating what's most important to me. And it's not seeing 25, 35 clients a week.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Yeah, no, I get that.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

So the plan is that I'm gonna go back in the fall, like October, November-ish, and stay for two to three months. You can stay for up to 90 days without a visa. And you have to have a residence, an address to apply for the visa. So I want to go over, I'm gonna get in a, you know, an Airbnb or or something for a couple weeks and see if I can find that place to be. And then once I have the address, then I can start the application process, which is taking about six months. So if I find a place immediately, I apply in October, the soonest I could move would be next April.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Which is okay because I have an entire house so full of stuff. Yes. Every podcast that you've done with people like how do you get rid of your stuff? I have downloaded it and listened to on repeat. I don't even know.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

Did you learn that the answer is just get rid of all of it?

SPEAKER_01 24:00

You know, I know I am almost down to that point. So one of the things I I've come up with, because you know, everyone has a different opinion. Get rid of all of it, only bring your sentimentals. And so what I decided to do was go try and go a little more practical. So when I go in the fall, I'm gonna go shopping and I'm going to get myself a spreadsheet and write down what would it cost to furnish a place there.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

So smart.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

And that can help me evaluate do I want to take anything? Or is the cost to ship it worth packing and shipping? And then I just have my stuff, right? And I'm thinking about comfort stuff mostly for my kid, but I did this with my car. I looked at I looked it up and did all the calculations on what it would cost to ship and all the different taxes versus then I went and I researched and buying a brand new car there. And I really thought it would make more sense to ship it. And then I realized, no, actually, it's not going to. And after driving there, oh yeah, I got a rental car. I drove a manual for the first time in probably 25 years in a foreign country in roads that aren't even big enough to be called alleys. Yeah. Um my gosh. There's no way I'm taking my car. I'm absolutely gonna sell it and I'm gonna buy one over there at some point. What it would cost, and can I find the most important thing? There's only one thing I need, Kim, and that's my bed. I have back issues. I've had them since I was 16. I need to be able to sleep comfortably, or else I can't do my job. I can't be a mom. I can't function. So I may consider taking the bed and nothing else. But if I can find a comparable bed over there, I'll just get one over there. So that's my plan is really to do more research via shopping and really dig into it, which is so different from how my entire life has been. I've been fly by the seat of my pants, just winging it. Clearly, it led me to some challenges. So with this move, I'm really trying to be more strategic. I've never researched anything more in my life. When I started a private practice, I just did it. Um I figured it out. I built the airplane in midair.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Yes. Well, I've seen you posting in the in the group, but what do you guys do about this? What do you do about this? Like, I know you're like really researching this for sure.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Yeah. I am because I want this. This is it for me. Like, I want to be the traveling therapist. I want to go live abroad and I want to travel around Europe and you know, travel the world. So I have just been researching and researching how do I make it work? How do I, you know, finance it? Because again, I am I am part of that, I don't know, trillion dollar statistic right now with credit card debt. So I'm so super excited. And every time I look at where do I start to get rid of stuff, I panic a little. But, you know, I'm really looking forward to it. I'm really excited about something for the first time in a very long time.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

So, how did you decide which part of Portugal? Because I know there's like lots of options. I don't even know how I would pick if I had to pick a place over there because there's so many beautiful options.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

Right. So I have Googled more in the last six months than I have in my entire life, and I have two master's degrees. So, like, I there's a lot of Googling. For me, I need warm, right? I came from Arizona. Well, I'm originally from Washington State, went to Arizona for the weather mostly. And I can't I've come back to Idaho and I'm I'm realizing I am so impacted by the cold in the winters. I am so negatively impacted. So I said, where is the warmest part of Portugal? That's what I did. I just Googled and I said, Where's the warmest part? I know the north and lipson and Porto is beautiful, but it's rainier, it's grayer, and that reminded me of Seattle. And I was like, nope, I already know I can't live there. So I went and stayed in Portima, which is really central in the Algarve region, and then did different cities. I think we did, I did like maybe four different cities. And then when I go back, I'm gonna go west because there's a couple cities I didn't get to going west. It was all phenomenal. I even drove to Spain one day because I drove over to Tavera, which is only like maybe 30, 40 kilometers from Spain. I said, I'm gonna drive to Spain because I'm right here. Yeah, why not? So I went and found a beautiful beach in Spain. Oh my gosh, it was gorgeous. And then I just checked out like different beaches and I found my beach. I stood there and I took it in and I cried and I said, I'm home.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

I think I saw you post a picture of that too.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Yeah, it was. I mean, and that's what I was looking for. Because I, you know, I hear everyone, you ask everyone, how did you decide what country? And how did you know that was the right country? And it was, it was that feeling of I'm home. And I didn't get it in Canada, but I got it in Portugal, and I just went, I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

That is amazing. So southern warm parts, Portugal, but not exactly sure. You're gonna go back and explore a little bit more to find the exact location and then get an apartment. Because I we were talking before we hit record, Maggie Dickens. We've got uh episodes with her moving to Portugal too, and she didn't do that, and she shipped stuff, and she like kind of learned from that mistake that she just like picked an address and sight unseen rented a place. So I think that's so smart the way you're doing it. Like, let me just go like get a feel for this place before I put this on my visa application and have to live here for I think it's a year, right? You have to stay in that residence.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Yeah, so one of the things I did, I was in Portugal is Monday, the day before the infamous blackout. Oh, yes, I heard about that. Yes. I was there, that was great. So I was there Monday and I thought, you know what? I'm just randomly gonna go into my Facebook group, my ex-Patsy Facebook group, and say, does anyone have a like a real estate contact? Like, I don't know, I'm just gonna maybe somebody can meet with me, maybe somebody can talk with me because I'm here. And I got one name. And so I reached out to her and we set up a time to talk on Tuesday, and then the power went out, so we could not talk. But I knew it's almost like like I knew no, it wasn't gonna be a big deal. Like, she wasn't gonna think I bailed on her, I didn't think she bailed them. I mean, I just there were no thought distortions. I was like, she's gonna know it's the power, and we're gonna reconnect and it's gonna be fine. And that's really what I want that easy, flexible, like no stress lifestyle. So we connected Wednesday, the day I flew out, the day I left, and we scheduled a time. So right when I came home, we set up a call and we did a 45-minute call. She's a relocation specialist and like a real estate broker. And so I got to talk to her and I said, Well, here's what I'm thinking help again. Thank you, Kim Tulson. Ask for help. Don't try and do it on your own. Oh my gosh. So one of the things she said was you can she said, I would get an Airbnb for like two weeks. If you're gonna stay for three months, get an Airbnb for two weeks, and then you come and and you start looking for your three-month rental as soon as you get here so that you don't do sight unseen. And I was like, Oh, that's really, really intelligent. And then she said, or you can come to your two-week Airbnb and just look for your long-term rental. The way it works is you're you have to pay rent on a place you don't live in because of the visa process, it's just gonna work out that way. So I was like, okay, so if I find something I really love, I can go ahead and do long term, or I can just do like the three months and call it good and then do it again after the visa, right? Get even a month-long Airbnb.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Is that how it works? Like, I don't know where I heard that. It seemed like there was something like you had to like sign a year-long lease, but is that it or is it not it?

SPEAKER_01 31:28

That's where that's where I was going. You have to sign a lease, but in Portugal, you can break the lease. You give what is called like a window, a notice window. So basically, you just give, I don't know, like a 90-day notice, and you basically say, I'm out in 90 days. And I I said, wait, really? It's like it's that easy, and she said, Yeah. And I said, Oh my goodness, trying to break a lease in in America. I mean, you're paying if you don't time it right, you're paying more to break the lease than you would to just pay the rest of the lease, move out early, and call it a day. I was like, Oh, so if I find a place, I can sign like my one-year lease for my visa application, and I can get there. And you know, there is kind of a time frame, I think, but if you get there and you're like, Yeah, I don't really want to live here, you just give that window of notice and then you could move out. Oh, nice. Okay. Well, that makes it a little easier, not as stressful, maybe. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So, yeah, I highly recommend reaching out. These Facebook groups are amazing. You get people who done this and who have contacts and people who know people who know people, and then just even to be able to ask simple questions like what is the best strategy for finding a place to live? And I cannot visualize to save my life. I can't even do a virtual tour, it doesn't register in my brain. I have to physically walk through it. So, yeah, I know a lot of people will do virtual tours and pick a place that way. I still can't see it. Like, geometry is not my brain's specialty at all. So that way, if I go, I just get a temporary place, then I can actually visibly go walk through places, find a place. And when I go back, I'll take my son with me too. So he'll get to see it and experience it. And so I'm hoping that it goes smoothly.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

So for the toddler, I before we hit record, you quickly mentioned that your father was going too, I guess. Will he be like help with him like when you're working and stuff? Or are you gonna do like I wonder how does daycare work? Like, how does that work? You know, all of that.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

So before I was gonna move to Portugal, again, I was like ready to travel. And I already became a traveling therapist and moved to Idaho. My practice is in Arizona, right? Two different things. So I was thinking of moving to Western Washington because I need the beach. That's it. I just need the beach. Then I realized, oh yeah, I can't afford to live there. That's ridiculous. But then I was thinking, I I was already set on homeschooling him. I was not gonna put him in a public school in northern Idaho. Like, no, they just introduced a bill. Again, I'm following law and politics more than I ever have in my life, and they introduced a bill to eliminate class cap sizes. Oh. So like you can just have as many kids as there are. Having been a kindergarten teacher with 29 kids, no, putting 42 kids in a oh no. So I'd already decided to homeschool him. So then I learned that in Portugal you can homeschool if you have teaching credentials. I'm a teacher, my dad's a teacher, actually. He went back and got a master's in music education, but nonetheless. So I was like, all right, then we'll just do that. And then I kept thinking about it, and I kept thinking about it. And so what I've decided is I'm actually gonna put him into an international school for the first year at least, so we can have social support, transitional support, other kids learning the language, and then maybe ultimately end up switching him to a Portuguese school. I don't know. That's a lot of research for down the road. And so I kind of looked into that. And then when I realized that um, when I looked in Severe, they had an international school. I didn't look at the quality of it, I just looked at the cost, and it costs a third of what I am paying for daycare. So everyone talks about how expensive international schools are. Right. Compared to free public education, yeah, but compared to what I'm currently paying for daycare, I think it was like for for his age, for like a four-year-old, it was about like $4,800 for the year. My current daycare is about $12,000 for the year. And so I'm like, oh, well, it's cheaper. But also, my dad, bless his heart, like has all the love and all the give that he can, but he doesn't have all the energy. So I'm like, I want him to be there and you know, he's so helpful. Anytime I've needed someone to watch my kid, I just say, be here. Here's when I need you. And he's like, Okay, I'm there. But he's also really struggling financially, and he was forced into retirement via cancer, and he's just, I mean, he's not doing anything either. And I said, Dad, let's go travel the world. And he said, Okay. I mean, I called him and I said, Hey, dad, I have an idea. And he's like, All right, and I said, I think I'm gonna move to Portugal. And he said, Okay, and I said, and I want you to come with me. And he said, Okay, let's do it. Oh my gosh. So I know a lot of people don't have that with their spouses, with their families, like so much resistance. But he was like, All right, I mean, I'm not doing anything else. So that way he'll get to see some of the world. He's never had a passport, so he's never traveled, and until once we get all of his documents in line, so that's where the October idea, I don't know if that'll happen because he has to have a passport. Also, really funny story. I had a passport, just renewed it in September, held on to it for 10 years, knew where it was, just renewed it in September. I'm like, okay, cool, and finally gonna use it. Couldn't find my freaking passport, Kim. Of course. Tore my house up one side, down the other, couldn't find it, couldn't find it. So what I had to do, like five days before I flew to Portugal, I called my dad, I said, I need you to come stay with the kid because I have to drive to Seattle tomorrow. So I got in the car, it was a six-hour drive to Seattle, and then I stayed the night, and then I went to the passport office. I said, I need a passport. They're like, when? Today, when's your flight leave? Oh, I'm d I drove, but I need it like now. I said, Okay, come back in four hours. Cool. I'll hang out in Seattle for four hours. But I walked in, they gave me a passport, and I drove home. So it was a very quick, intense road trip. But the problem, the biggest issue I still have is that my passport is with my sons, and I still don't know where it's at. So now I gosh. But worse than worse, I now know how to get one last minute. So if any of you are trying to do your scouting trips or any international travel, you can get one in person. It's just not cheap. It was pretty easy, it just was not cheap.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Oh, really? How much are we talking? I'm sure people are like, how much is it?

SPEAKER_01 37:50

Yeah, so the actual passport itself to walk out day in hand was $225. Ooh, yeah. Plus the cost to get to Seattle, so gas and food. I fortunately didn't have to pay for room and board because my cousin lives there. So it was probably, I'm gonna say at least $350. So again, I don't have the money for this. Like, what am I doing? But I just knew I had to go on this trip. I knew that I had to go see it. And if Portugal wasn't it, cool. I'm gonna start planning Costa Rica and Greece, and maybe even Uruguay, because I've seen a lot of people having a lot of success in Uruguay. Not a country I've ever thought about, ever. So those are kind of my other like, okay, if this doesn't pan out, if this isn't home, then those are some backups. But no, I'll just get to travel there just for fun.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

How exciting. Yeah, I cannot wait to hear when you just finally get there. You have to come back.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

I will. And I want to share one more thing that you keep talking about, all your income streams, and which has always overwhelmed me because I'm like treading water to just do my one little me private practice. And I'm like, but I so brilliant, right? And to change the workload and to, you know, spend some time doing like group coaching versus individual therapy. So I actually have started, I'm working on a coaching program and I'm building it and creating it. I'm so amazed that I'm doing it and I'm learning. Oh my gosh, I'm learning AI. I'm so old right now. I'm learning how to use AI and I'm mind blown. I I mean, it copped out everything that I was trying to come up with, but I couldn't find the words. I couldn't like really articulate my ideal client. So that's in the works. And I keep thinking about that. Like, I'm I want to do something else for extra income so I can decrease the one-to-one load. And I've heard that from so many of y'all that like that is the way to go. I'm getting ready to hire a virtual assistant. Like it's in my, it's gonna happen again. I'm not doing it all on my own anymore. I am going to hire help. I'm trying to actually now emulate what y'all are doing, get the help I need. And so ultimately it's gonna be a coaching program. And I want to eventually do retreats and do international retreats. So I'm really excited to go to Megan's retreat just to kind of like feel what a retreat is like. I want to do some of Patrick's, but I again tapped out for money this year. It's not gonna happen. So it's a program for basically people pleasing late-in-life lesbians. Wow. So this is my I've decided this is my favorite group to work with. So one, the late-life lesbian. Like, oh my gosh, how do I leave my marriage? How do I even figure out if this is who I am? How do I come out? How do I start dating after 40? Okay, let's just talk about dating after 40 in general.

SPEAKER_00 40:36

Seriously, I couldn't even imagine. It's gotta be awful.

SPEAKER_01 40:39

It's rough. And it's why I'm still single. But also part of this, I really love working with the boundaries and the people pleasing because so many of my favorite clients have lived their lives for somebody else, which I never have. That's not ever been my jam. I've been like hyper independent, leave me alone my whole life. But I think I connect so well with them because I feel like I'm kind of that. Here's another place you can get to. Like, you don't have to hear you can be independent, you can do it all, you can set boundaries, you can say no, and you can create a life that you love and that works for you. And your kids are gonna be okay. Your family's gonna be okay. I mean, I've been working with people coming out with gender and sexuality for years now, and walking the families through how do we all come out as a family and you're okay, you're gonna be okay. So that's what kind of came to me. And so I'm super excited to create this program. And eventually I want to have the program and the retreat with it. Yes. Oh my gosh. So, like, let's go to this amazing place, have all the good food, have all the relaxing, you know, have all the self-care and figure out who the hell we are so that we can stop living our life for somebody else. So that's kind of where I'm headed. So that's that's what I'm looking for to. So I do hopefully I would love to come back when I get that put together. I keep hearing your voice in my head, like the business besties, which I don't quite have yet. So I feel like that part is still missing. So I'm kind of working on that. So I just want you to know, like, I'm I listen to all your sound wisdom.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

And oh my gosh, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

I hear you in the back of my head. I hear Patrick. I am so excited to get to know Megan and you know, do her retreat with her. And Jeannie has helped me tremendously when I was going through some accounting stuff. Oh, yeah. Also, I started tracking income for the first time since I opened my practice. Nice, nice.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

Jenny would be proud. We're talking about Jenny Shotmiller, nobody knows. She's a therapist and a CPA, and she is the owner of simpleprofit.com. She's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 42:43

Yeah. And I heard her on Patrick's podcast saying, start tracking your income. And I was like, okay, so seven years later, maybe I should start tracking. So I just am so grateful to to all of you and the network that you have built and all your business besties because I never wanted to be in private practice because I couldn't see it. I couldn't see what it could be, and now I can see that emotional. Now I can see what it could be.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

Yeah. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 43:15

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

I love it. I'm so excited for you. Oh, made me cry.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

Like moving from surviving to thriving. Like that's really where I feel like I'm finally like, I'm gonna own this business and I'm gonna do it in a way that's true to my values. I've always said I'm not your typical therapist. I've not, I'm I am direct and I'm color outside the lines. And every time I check in with my clients, they're like, don't change. We love that about just drop the F bombs, like say what you're gonna say. But again, hearing all of you talk about your growth has really inspired me, which is why I wanted to come on today.

SPEAKER_00 43:55

Thank you so much. Yeah, it's so inspirational.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Yeah, for anyone that's where I was six months ago, going, I'm not happy and I don't know what to do. Like, I just encourage you to listen to the people who've done it before us, the people who are living their dreams and reach out because I've not ever had one person say, I'm too busy to help you. Yeah, and I'm so eternally grateful for that.

SPEAKER_00 44:18

Oh my gosh, what an amazing story. Yeah, and you've been through all that, but uh you know, all of us have got that story, and it gets you to that place where it all comes together, and then it's like because of this journey, this journey, and this journey, now I've got this perfect thing that's amazing for me, you know.

SPEAKER_01 44:33

Yeah, I keep seeing Amber Lyda's little feet on the beach in Florida, and I'm like, I mean, that and that's from six years ago. I keep thinking, I want to do something on the beach, but I couldn't wrap my brain around how or what or where. And so I just became a podcast listener, and I do hope to have one at some point. I don't know if it'll be like the single mom therapy podcast, because that's a whole other ball of wax, or if it will be more in a line with like my my coaching program.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

And I don't know, it's such a good niche. I've never even heard people talk about that niche really much. So you hear about programs out there and stuff, it's just awesome.

SPEAKER_01 45:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:10

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 45:11

I look forward to it, and I hope when I come back I can share a plethora of progress and you know, just again providing some hope and inspiration for those that are contemplating but aren't quite sure. Yes. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

Thank you so much for coming today. Really appreciate it. Thank you so much for listening to the Traveling Therapist Podcast. For show note, links, and downloads, head over to Traveling Therapist.com where you'll be able to learn more about my journey, the courses I've created for you, and other exciting resources to make your dreams become a reality. If you've enjoyed this episode, please share with your traveling therapist friends. Subscribe to the podcast, and if you love this episode, please leave a review.